Thursday, December 8, 2011

I am engaged!

It’s time for a real life blog post, because I have plenty to say!

First of all, the biggest news is that my longtime boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me on Saturday!  He gave me the most beautiful and perfect ring that I always dreamed of.  It was so simple and subdued and sweet and pleasant.  We both cried, naturally I accepted, and now I’m awaiting the ring resizing so that I can wear it.

I’ve actually been ‘engaged’ before.  But it wasn’t much of an engagement. I’d been dating the guy for 2 years, I pressured him into buying me a ring because I felt insecure about our relationship.  I was young (19). I went with him to pick out the ring.  He never actually ever proposed to me, I just called him my fiance.  We never made any plans to actually get married.  I’d like to say that he just basically bought me a promise ring, though there was never any promise made.  The relationship ended in 2006.

When Luke and I first met each other, I knew that it was the real thing.  The moment we talked to each other, I was drawn to him physically and emotionally.  I wanted to talk to him for hours, to stare into his eyes forever, to never leave his side.  We started dating just after Thanksgiving in 2007, moved in together the next month, and together we have been through a lot.  We’ve moved to many different homes together, even moved from San Diego to San Francisco together.  We’ve both grown in our careers together, reached milestones such as our first vehicles paid off, our first joint account, our first family health insurance.  He’s been my best friend since the day we met.

I never tire of him.  We have a healthy relationship where we both split duties and do not have rigid gender roles.  We are equal earners in the household.  We both want the same things out of life (children, house ownership, successful careers, travel).  We see eye-to-eye politically, and he can put up with my ranting, my feminism, my outspokenness about issues that upset me.  We share hobbies such as board game playing, video games, watching TV, and loving food and going out to dinner.  Living with him has always just “felt right”.  When he isn’t around, I miss him.

When I’m with Luke, I just feel like I can be me.  I have never been ashamed of who I am.  He knows that I’m clumsy and sometimes oblivious, and laughs alongside me.  He knows that I’m sensitive and cry on occasion and he is always supportive.  He tells me I’m beautiful and has no problems with the fact that I’m overweight. He thinks of me and is courteous and generous.  We don’t argue over silly things — we have rarely got in “fights”.  Luke supports the choices I make in life like no one else I know.  When other people judge me, Luke stands by me.  He’s made me realize just how awesome I am.

We didn’t “need” to get married.  I don’t believe in the patriarchal concepts of passing ownership of me from my dad to my fiance.  I don’t know what I’m going to do about my last name at this time.  We’re not sure what kind of ceremony we’ll have, or if we’ll just exchange vows at the courthouse.  I just know that I absolutely have loved him to pieces for years and that I can’t imagine anything other than spending the rest of my life with him.  I am literally the luckiest woman in the world, and I can’t believe how well my life is working out for me.

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