Offer accepted!

Our offer was accepted on the house!  This is a surreal moment in my life, because I never thought the day would come where I'd be buying a house in a San Diego zip code.  I am so fortunate because I'm sharing this experience with my soul mate.  I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women on the planet.

Next stop is wire transferring the escrow money over, which happens today.  We have our home inspection on Monday morning, which I'm sure the house will pass with flying colors.  Feel free to pinch me, because I'm definitely fucking dreaming.

Slice of Instagram Life

Resurrection

Holy shit, I'm back.

I just decided to dust this thing off and see if anyone is out there.  I have a lot of blogs, but none of them feel like the place to rant about whatever comes to mind.  I miss the days on LiveJournal where I'd speak my mind and there were people there to rant with me.  I don't really want all that crap tied with my real full name, which eliminates this blog as a possibility.  And I have more interests than just video games, which eliminates this one and this one.  So, that leaves Tango Bango.

Luke and I put an offer on a house today.  When we rolled up in our real estate agent's brand new Lexus out front, we were basically stunned.  We immediately assumed that this house was way over our budget and was incorrectly priced, but were shocked when we found out that it was well within our price range.  It's only a wee 1100 square feet, but it's been gutted and upgraded to the hilt.  There are beautiful dark laminate floors throughout, an upgraded kitchen with nice gas stove, 3 bedrooms, 2 beautifully upgraded bathrooms, a huge backyard with room for a future in-ground pool, and a droolworthy private backyard space with a built in stone BBQ.  It's a dream.

We already had an offer in on another place, but ultimately we decided not to answer the counter offer and walk away.  The neighborhood wasn't as 'homey' in the other house, and we'd be paying the same amount for a much larger yet completely unfinished space.  We'd have a lot of expenditures if we tried to update the thing, and we didn't particularly want to end up being the nicest house on the block.

We anticipated many months of home searching because realtors in the area told us that it's a grueling fight in our price point because inventory is low.  I just hope we got lucky and found our place in the first month.  Although we always run the risk of some investor coming in with a cash offer and putting us out of the running.  We're optimistic though, and we know that there's always another house out there.  However, crossing my damn fingers about this house because it's perfect.

The Home-Buying Dilemma

Luke and I are only about 3 weeks into our great home search, in which we're finally planning to throw down the banner of renting and start building equity in our first purchased home.  It just began, and we're kind of stressed out about it.  Don't get me wrong -- I absolutely LOVE looking at houses and the idea of buying and upgrading our place is super exciting, but we're having some mixed thoughts on where and what to buy. The thing about San Diego, is that it's HUGE.  It's very much sprawled out, being 372 square miles.  This means that from area to area, you'll get a much different experience.

Our favorite areas:

Hillcrest & Mission Hills (92103) - There are hardly any single family homes here for sale, and the ones that are are going for $351 per square foot.  Keep in mind those prices include condos, which we're not interested in. Single family homes are much higher (Starting around $500,000).

North Park (92104) - Small homes, and the nicer area (Morley Field) is some of the most expensive real estate in San Diego proper. $310 per square foot but that value is brought down by condos.

University Heights (92116) - Another favorite of ours.  Small craftsman houses, little parking available.  $334 per square foot.

 Our budget is interesting, because we're trying to only consider one of our incomes in how much we can afford for our mortgage.  The reason for this is that some time I'm going to be out of work for having a baby and raising him/her through kindergarten at least.   And San Diego doesn't have that many jobs in the game industry, so we have to be cautious.  We don't want to end up in a house that requires us to both have full time jobs.  Right now on our current salaries, we could afford a $650,000 place.  But we are limited to a budget of $425,000 if we just take one of our incomes and our 5% down payment.  That means we can't really be in those areas we want, unless we get an 800 square foot house with only 1 bathroom and a tiny yard.

The areas we're looking in:

Clairemont (92111 & 92117).  These range from $250- $283 per square foot, giving us the ability to afford a 1400 square foot house with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths and a yard.  Convenient to freeways, but very hit or miss with the neighborhoods.  Not ideal.

Serra Mesa (92123) - This is an ideal location because it's very close to different freeways.  As a community though, it's not really what we're looking for.  Like Clairemont, it's hit or miss and kind of run down.  At $243 per square foot, the price is great.

Mira Mesa (92126) - This is where we rent now.  We don't really want to live here.  The location isn't awful, but it's a 40 minute drive from my ranch.  It's kind of run down and there are a LOT of rental properties.  But at a price per square foot of $229, we can absolutely get a lot for the money.

Poway (92064) - It's a long way away from the things we like to do, very far from the ranch, and not exactly the culture we want our future child to grow up in.  On the flip side, $258 per square foot, great school district, lots of horse ranches.

Our must-haves:

• Must be within a 25 minute drive to Del Mar to Luke's work
• Must be within 30 minutes to Tami's ranch in the Tijuana River Valley (preferably)
• Must have some kind of backyard space (which rules out condos and 99% of townhomes here)
• 2 bathrooms (or room to put another one in)
• Safe neighborhood, not next to an apartment complex
• Ideally at least 1200 square feet
• Dedicated parking for two cars.

Other factors:

• Turn-key.  It doesn't have to be.  If we can get a place for $399,000, we wouldn't mind the sweat equity to make it ours.
• Pool.  We'd love to have one, and we're willing to live in one of our less-desired neighborhoods if we get one.

The thing about the neighborhood is that we are completely enamored with the uptown neighborhoods (Hillcrest, North Park, University Heights, Mission Hills, Normal Heights, Kensington) and that is our ideal place to live.  We want to be close to the restaurants, the culture, the events, the shops.  I am pretty clear about wanting to raise 'future baby' up in a diverse neighborhood where gay and trans people are walking down the street without a second glance.  It's very important to me.

Option 1: Buy a bigger house in a neighborhood we don't really love (Clairemont, Serra Mesa, Linda Vista, Poway, Mira Mesa), hoping that at some point we could afford a larger home in one of those uptown neighborhoods.

Option 2: Buy a smaller house in the neighborhood that we do love (Uptown) hoping that at some point we could afford to upgrade to a larger home in the same neighborhood.

With Option 1: We'd have a large yard, maybe a pool, more interior space.  We'd have to drive further to immerse ourselves in the neighborhoods that we love, which means we wouldn't end up doing it often.  We wouldn't love our neighborhood, but it would likely be "fine" and safe. With Option 2, we'd be sacrificing a lot to get into the neighborhoods that we love.  We'd get very little yard space, a smaller, older house, and probably little parking.  On the positive, the house would have older charm/character, would be easily rentable and resellable because of the desirable neighborhoods, and our quality of life would be better because we'd be surrounded by the culture and life that we enjoy.

 Argh.  What do we do?  Decisions, decisions.

  

I am engaged!

It’s time for a real life blog post, because I have plenty to say!

First of all, the biggest news is that my longtime boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me on Saturday!  He gave me the most beautiful and perfect ring that I always dreamed of.  It was so simple and subdued and sweet and pleasant.  We both cried, naturally I accepted, and now I’m awaiting the ring resizing so that I can wear it.

I’ve actually been ‘engaged’ before.  But it wasn’t much of an engagement. I’d been dating the guy for 2 years, I pressured him into buying me a ring because I felt insecure about our relationship.  I was young (19). I went with him to pick out the ring.  He never actually ever proposed to me, I just called him my fiance.  We never made any plans to actually get married.  I’d like to say that he just basically bought me a promise ring, though there was never any promise made.  The relationship ended in 2006.

When Luke and I first met each other, I knew that it was the real thing.  The moment we talked to each other, I was drawn to him physically and emotionally.  I wanted to talk to him for hours, to stare into his eyes forever, to never leave his side.  We started dating just after Thanksgiving in 2007, moved in together the next month, and together we have been through a lot.  We’ve moved to many different homes together, even moved from San Diego to San Francisco together.  We’ve both grown in our careers together, reached milestones such as our first vehicles paid off, our first joint account, our first family health insurance.  He’s been my best friend since the day we met.

I never tire of him.  We have a healthy relationship where we both split duties and do not have rigid gender roles.  We are equal earners in the household.  We both want the same things out of life (children, house ownership, successful careers, travel).  We see eye-to-eye politically, and he can put up with my ranting, my feminism, my outspokenness about issues that upset me.  We share hobbies such as board game playing, video games, watching TV, and loving food and going out to dinner.  Living with him has always just “felt right”.  When he isn’t around, I miss him.

When I’m with Luke, I just feel like I can be me.  I have never been ashamed of who I am.  He knows that I’m clumsy and sometimes oblivious, and laughs alongside me.  He knows that I’m sensitive and cry on occasion and he is always supportive.  He tells me I’m beautiful and has no problems with the fact that I’m overweight. He thinks of me and is courteous and generous.  We don’t argue over silly things — we have rarely got in “fights”.  Luke supports the choices I make in life like no one else I know.  When other people judge me, Luke stands by me.  He’s made me realize just how awesome I am.

We didn’t “need” to get married.  I don’t believe in the patriarchal concepts of passing ownership of me from my dad to my fiance.  I don’t know what I’m going to do about my last name at this time.  We’re not sure what kind of ceremony we’ll have, or if we’ll just exchange vows at the courthouse.  I just know that I absolutely have loved him to pieces for years and that I can’t imagine anything other than spending the rest of my life with him.  I am literally the luckiest woman in the world, and I can’t believe how well my life is working out for me.

Gone vegetarian

On Friday night, I watched Earthlings on YouTube.  It’s a documentary narrated by Joaquin Phoenix that is about animal rights.  Ever since, I feel sick to my stomach and see the imagery in my head when I think about eating meat.  So, I haven’t eaten meat since watching it and don’t intend to.

In a perfect world, I could go vegan.  I just believe I should start out vegetarian and see how it goes.  I don’t think it will be too hard — I’ve done it before and the Bay Area has lots of options for vegetarian food.  We live not too far from a Trader Joe’s and a Whole Foods, so I can buy readymade vegan and vegetarian options there.  I also need motivation to cook more at home and eat healthier, so that’s what I believe vegetarianism will help me achieve.

Last night, I ate vegan buffalo ‘chik’n’ nuggets from Morningstar.  Today I ate cereal and we’re having falafel wraps for dinner with a greek salad on the side.  What are your favorite vegetarian recipes??

Review: Divergent by Veronica Roth

Divergent is a debut novel by Veronica Roth, and I picked it up after seeing lots of buzz surrounding it on Goodreads.  It's a dystopian young adult fiction based in an alternate Chicago setting and featuring a teenage female protagonist as she struggles to find her identity in a wartorn world with rigid societal roles.  Sound familiar?

Divergent is very much a spiritual throwback to The Hunger Games trilogy, which is a series that I devoured as rapidly as possible.  It's so close in spirit and feel to The Hunger Games that it almost feels like a ripoff in places.  I've recently found out that it too has been picked up for a potential motion picture, so clearly these types of books are flying off the shelves.  Divergent is also more than reminiscent of the Harry Potter world, with the members of its society taking assessment tests to see which 'clan' (read: house) they will join.  These clans are very much similar to the houses in Harry Potter.  The Dauntless might as well be Slytherin.  It's basically the Reaping meets the Sorting Hat.

The protagonist of the story (Beatrice, or Tris) is likable enough, though not a spectacularly deep character.  Other than her current struggles within the Dauntless society she finds herself in, we don't know much about her likes and interests.  Aside from her family ties and her romantic interests, of course.  Did she have close friends other than her brother before the assessment tests?  Did she have any hobbies?  The entire book becomes a whirlwind of mental and physical training and at times I find that Tris's thoughts and motives are predictable and shallow.  I found her much less frustrating than Katniss Everdeen though, and connected with her in a stronger fashion.

The pacing of the book is odd, spending tons of time on and going into detail about the assessment testing and the training that Tris goes through, before whipping into the real conflict 75% through the book.  Clearly Divergent is preparing us for the second book in the series, which I will eagerly read to see how certain conflicts and relationships are resolved.

My biggest issue with this book (and also with The Hunger Games and Twilight) is in the way the teenage girl protagonists interact with their love interests.  In Divergent, Tris is completely mindblown and baffled by the fact that Four has taken an interest in her.  Though she is brave, strong, and the top of her class in assessments, she is completely timid and self-loathing when it comes to her interactions with Four.  She puts herself down, basically calls herself ugly, and can't believe that a guy like Four would be interested in her.  The fact that she tosses aside her achievements and her personality and only thinks about her appearance when talking with Four sets a bad example about the confidence a young woman should have in herself.  I found her budding relationship with Four to be far less annoying than Katniss and her relationships with Peeta and Gale, but just once I'd love to see a more confident young woman interacting with the male characters in these books.  It's frustrating to see such strong and powerful young women in these fantasy/dystopian novels who can kill people, save the world, win wars, and outsmart anyone yet they are still portrayed as weak girls when it comes to being interested in boys.

All in all, I did enjoy Divergent.  I read it in 3 days total and found myself turning the pages long after I intended to go to bed.  I will be reading the next book in the series to see how it plays out.  I think Veronica Roth is a very accessible reader with a knack for making battles engaging and interesting, and this is a great first effort by her. It's worth picking up if you enjoyed The Hunger Games and wish there was more of it.